Chronic Illness Chronicles

Hi everyone it’s been awhile since I posted so I figured I should post an update before I get back to my regular scheduled posts.

I know my C.I community is super understanding when we need breaks and time away to focus on ourselves or the people around us. For that I am so thankful. I am excited to get back into sharing my journey.

The past two months have been a really challenging time for me. My mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. This is her second time having cancer, the first time I was in 2nd grade so I’m getting hit with 7 year old Lauren emotions and 24 year old Lauren emotions. To be honest the last month or so has been a blur. I have been struggling to do what’s best for me and properly take care of myself. I know that that is what I need to do but to me I feel selfish. How can I rest and do what I need when my mom has cancer? When she’s battling one of the hardest battles? 

After the initial shock and increase of my depressive symptoms I was able to get back to focusing on what I need to do for me. The truth is taking care of myself during this time is more important than ever, she needs me and if I am not taking care of myself it will just make things harder for me and everyone. I was really nervous at first that I would go into a flare and that I wouldn’t be able to help like I want. Which did end up happening. I also need to remember that as much as I try to control my illnesses, I can’t. If a flare happens let it, and do what you can to get yourself to a better spot. I was taking so much this past month wayyyy more than I can handle. And it was getting to me. I ended up being really sick for about 3 weeks and then needed antibiotics. 

Now I am better from my cold and flare and I went to visit my grandparents in Florida for my vacation(this will get its own post, I have a lot to say about traveling with CI!). I am home and was able to have a much needed break from reality. I’m back to work and really trying to keep my focus in the moment and take it day by day. 

My family has received so much support from so many people and it means more than we can express. You see, my family owns a softball/baseball organization so there have been many lives that my mom has touched. To see them give back and show their love and support for my mom is so heartwarming I can’t even put it into words. 

My mom is the strongest person I know, and I know everyone says that about their mom but I truly mean it. She has shown me how to be strong and resilient during my own health journey. She has shown me how to keep going. There is no doubt in my mind that my mom wont beat this, she is too strong for that. All I want is to be able to give my mom the support she has given me throughout the past few years with my health struggles. I want her to feel supported and loved and rely on us, and not to be afraid to ask for help or say she’s having a hard day. 

So that is my update, I hope to get back to my regular scheduled posts but please be understanding if it takes me longer in between posts. My mom’s treatments are starting soon and I will be very busy. Thank you all for the support and advice.